What are Some Disadvantages to Getting Married Too Young?

I married at 18. He never grasped the meaning, except the better, richer, health, etc. aspects. I was the doormat for his life. Everything he wanted to make happen, I sacrificed for. Everything.

Over three decades later, I can look back and see that only one of us truly lived. Bitter? Yep. Sad? Yep. Mad? Yep. Did I have a choice? Yep. But when you live through both sides of the vows with integrity, it's a lose-lose to end something you committed to. Either way is painful. And it didn't have to be this way. When you give someone your heart, make sure they are giving you theirs, too. Then take care of it.

Getting mine back in a million pieces from someone who never gave me his was not what I believed I was getting into. And only one person keeping both sides of the vows does not make a marriage work. As a teenager, you only think you know who you are.

I think there's some flawed logic in this article; also no sources which seems dubious. There have actually been studies that suggest that a marriage is the happiest when partners get married between 22-25. They concluded that there is no statistical advantage to postponing marriage. The key factor seems to be (at least to me) the reasons for getting married. Some people who get married young do so under social or religious pressure, or just without much consideration of consequences. So I think it comes down to why you get married, not when.

Saying that you shouldn't marry someone who is 20 because they are going to change, but that it's okay when they are 30 is completely skewed logic. A person doesn't hit a magic age and then never change again. Your spouse will change from age 30 - 40 just as surely as they will change from 20 - 30. Using your spouse's changing personality as an excuse for your diminishing love demonstrates extreme selfishness. If you can't love them because they have changed, then you never really loved them at all, rather, you used them because it was convenient.

My husband and I started dating at barely 14. It was the summer before our freshman year in high school. We dated all through high school, never breaking up once. We got engaged the last day of our senior year and married the following year at age 19.

We waited until we were in our mid 20's to have kids and we will be celebrating our 24th wedding anniversary in August. To the guy that said any guy that marries that young will look at other women, I say you are full of it. Just because you did, does not mean that all guys will. The same goes with women. Women can look at other guys too, but that doesn't mean they will lust after them. I have not looked at another guy since I have been married.

Also, just like anything, you will get out of it what you put into it. Marrying young does not guarantee that you will get divorced any more than marrying older guarantee that you won't. When you are younger, you are still learning to grow and learn. The only difference is, you have someone to grow and learn with. Change is inevitable, no matter what your age. It is how you adapt as a person and a couple that dictates whether you can handle it together.

Well, I hate to be a stereotype, but I am 20 years old, and I am getting married at the end of this year. I have never really cared about what people have thought about me getting married, but came across an article on Facebook sort of like this and the comments are far more interesting than the articles, and I must say they got me thinking.

Anyway, here is some background before the judgment comes my way. My family and my two best friends are the only people who know we are getting married, and I guess now all you lovely people that are reading this. We all know that the honeymoon phase will end, and maybe it already has for me. The man I am marrying has been my best friend since we were kids. I know, how cliché. My life is a giant cliché.

I am an administrative assistant for an office while obtaining a degree in business to help boost my pay for my current job and hopefully going to go on to law school. I know. Setting my goals way high. My fiancé is well to do himself and is also in college for business. We aren't settling for mediocrity in our lives, as some say about getting married young, and do not plan on having kids until I am done with law school.

Anyway, I'm not going tell everyone they are stupid and I'm going to be the one in a million that last because, well, that might jinx it anyway. Maybe I am naive, but I feel like a lot of making marriages work has a lot to do with being willing to make it work. Not statistics. Not walking away because of a fight. I had parents who married in their late twenties and divorced in their forties, and my mom is now on her third marriage.

I have seen that you can have all the love in the world, but when you aren't willing to work on your issues, there is no way to make a marriage work. For those of you who say you're going to make your relationship work: sit down and assess. Can you problem solve together? Is one of you going to leave if there is a disagreement? Can you two talk to each other when there is an issue or do you just scream at each other?

That last part is what I feel is especially important. I won't say that I am perfect or my relationship is, because especially early on, we used to yell at each other. I had a terrible temper, but after consideration, I realized that there is no way to make a relationship work without being able to talk to each other like civilized human beings. I won't say that I am perfect, or even claim to be mature, but I do feel like those of you who do judge those of us who want to get married young, please take a moment to realize that not everyone wants to live the way you do.

I read a comment on another article that said something about him moving across the country on a whim with nothing and doing all these reckless, stupid things. He said that that is what we non-single people miss out on by getting married young. I know a lot of you feel that maybe that is a great life experience, but that is not for me. I guess I'm just a boring person. The most adventure I even want to have in my life is either Disney World with my family or playing sports, both of which I can do and have done with the man I am marrying.

To sum things up, for the fellow youngsters getting married: please assess. Don't just say "Well, we are madly in love, and love conquers all." It isn't that simple.

And for those judging: take the time to keep an open mind. You don't know the person's situation that you are judging or what their plans are, because I have seen some assumptions that are just rather outlandish.

We may be the exception, but we got married at ages 19 and 20, and just celebrated our 61st anniversary. You don't have to grow apart as you mature; you can grow together if you share common beliefs, values and goals.

I think younger people are simply less likely to be in truly healthy relationships. They are still more interested in impressing other people than being themselves. I think some people grow out of this earlier than others. I am relatively young (I think), but I know that when I was younger, the relationships I had were based on projections of myself that were not necessarily true to who I am/was. I think that when you are old enough to look at your relationship objectively, you are old enough to get married.

I know that my boyfriend and I will change. I hope that we will change. I can't imagine how dull it would be if we were just as we are now forever. We have definitely changed over the past four years. But I want him to change and I want to be there to watch him change. And I want him to be there as I change.

Successful marriages don't begin when you're done changing. They begin when you understand that change is okay.

I got married when I was 20 and am still married to the same wonderful man 20 years later.

Well how about this? The person you marry at age 30 won't be the same at age 50! It goes both ways! Everyone changes and change occurs at many points in life, not just in your 20s! Marriage is about not giving up on things and actually putting in the effort to make things work and honoring your commitment to stay together and fix problems, rather than just throwing marriage away.

Today, people view their 20s as a time to become addicted to a multitude of things, as well as become morally perverted. Yeah, some empowerment there. As with the people who want to fend for themselves all alone, why would you want that? Isn't life more fun and better to handle when you have someone by your side?

I met my husband while I was in school and married him at 25 and I regret it. By the time I knew who I truly was and found a profession and realized that we had different visions and defined success differently, I was already committed.

Kids are so dumb. I remember being that age, but my God, it's so frustrating to watch it from the outside! About 80 percent of these comments say, "I got married young, it was a disaster. Don't do it." Then, 20 percent of these comments say, "I'm 17-18-19 and my fiance is 18-19-20 and we will be the exception."

I am literally crying and laughing at these posts. You will all get divorced, end of story. You change way too much in your 20s to possibly know if you'll even like the person in 3 years from now, much less 20 years! Think back to 10 years ago, you were nine years old! Imagine how different you were then? You change less and less with each decade, but the first three are massive rites of passage.

Me? Oh, I met my fiance when I was 19. We (oddly enough I didn't learn the hard way like many) did everything the "right" way. We dated for a little while at 19, and decided to take a break to live life. Guess what? We're almost 30, and she's marrying me. The odds of your steamy adolescent partner being the true mate for you after the burning fire wears off (trust us, it does, that's why they call it the "honeymoon period") are slim to none.

We did beat the odds. But, we had to grow up on our own first. I had a lot of fun with a lot of girls, but now I know what's out there. Now I don't have to wonder. And if your 20-year-old fiance/boyfriend says he could never look at another girl, think again. Pretty soon he'll get bored of knowing every inch of your body and his eyes will be wandering. It's just psychologically part of being a young male. (You didn't find the one exception on earth; he's fooling you. I fooled plenty of you back in the day. Sometimes I really believed it, so I was more convincing.)

Nobody is saying break up. Live together for a few years first, if anything. End of my rant.

I was almost married once, several years ago, when I was barely legally old enough to drink, and he was old enough to vote. Everyone was for it. Eventually, I realized I'd grow to hate him and be bitter at his having stolen my "childhood". I chose to live my twenties, and he found a wonderful young woman who was ready for marriage, we're all friends, and all is well.

My friends who got married that young? They're all divorcing or divorced now, or silently stewing, because the person they married at 20 and 21 and 22 isn't the same at 28 and 29 and 30. It's hard, and I barely made it out. But I did. Wait. To those of you contemplating marriage before age 25 (25 because your mind and sense of self and personality are all still changing in your earlier twenties, and by that point you're beginning to be the person you'll be for the rest of your life), please wait. Wait, friends. Wait.

I remember going to college and living "on my own". I thought I was so interdependent. I had a part time job, and just loans paid for the majority of my living costs. So I wasn't really an adult yet, but I sure felt like one.

I graduated and found it impossible to find jobs in my field in spite of the promising lies college told me. I got a job at Walmart because my parents told me I needed to get one.

One of my supervisors was always super miserable and angry all the time. One day I asked him why he was so angry and he said "Don't get married until you're at least 25." He was about 32 then.

I thought it was crazy and that he just had a bad experience. I'm not a partier, or drunk, or excessively lustful, or anything like that. So I figured "what would I be missing if I'm already a person who's more of a homebody anyway?".

I got married at 23 years old and it was one of the worst decisions I ever made. I never really got to have my own apartment, save up money, socialize as an adult, etc., etc. -- more things that I never really gave thought to.

The biggest thing, though, is even though I was "mature" at 23 I still wasn't an honest-to-goodness, full-fledged, mature adult. I still had an unhealthy amount of optimism, goals, cockiness, arrogance and naivete. Also, I still saw sex as one of the main parts of a relationship, where now I see sex as more of a bonus. Sure, guys at this age say "sex is a bonus," but their actions say otherwise. Trust me. Seriously, trust me.

So now I'm trapped 3,000 miles away from my home with no friends or family. I have two beautiful children I fear of losing. She says she wouldn't ever take them away from me, but she would. She's simply not a good person. She thinks she is, but if only she saw herself as the person everyone else sees, she would see the truth.

I want to be free and enjoy my mid-late 20's maturity. I'm at the age now when, even though my looks have faded a little bit, my demeanor has improved. Women are interested in me, rather than me seeking out women. It's very strange.

I'm not the cheating type, but I just hate not being able to love anymore. I hate saying empty "I love yous" when really I just want to say, "We screwed up. I regret getting married".

So girls, if you really want to destroy a person's life, get married when you're 18 to 25 years old, and make sure your husband is in that age group, too. Have some kids. Grow up a little and realize marriage isn't a fairy tale like Disney made it out to be. Do some crazy stuff behind his back because you're desperate for adventure, attention, freedom, and maybe even money.

I promise he won't leave because he loves his kids too much. And because he hates you so much, all of his love will go into those kids. making it even harder to bring him to divorce.

Eventually though, when the kids get older, he will gladly divorce you and cautiously start dating again with an adult man's perspective and be more successful at it.

I am 18 and my fiance is 19. We started dating our sophomore year in high school. We have been together for almost four years now.

We both graduated high school and I went on to college and he went to a vo-tech school and earned his taxidermy license, so now he is a certified taxidermist and he also has a good job here working for our city. I also have a part time job while I go to school.

We just moved in together and things are going great. When we told our families that we were getting married, most of them had to say, "You're too young" or, "It's going to end up in a divorce". It really ticks me off when they say that.

Just because none of their marriages didn't work out their first time doesn't mean that ours won't. We have been together long enough that we think we are ready for the next step in our lives.

We are both mature and responsible. We have no kids and are not planning on that anytime soon. We are good on money and are paying all of our bills just fine.

He is the love of my life and I can be myself when I'm with him. I am so comfortable with him I can tell him anything, and he knows everything about me. And I know we are ready to get married. There is nothing that anyone can say to us that will change our minds. We love each other. End of story.

I did it at age 19. Everybody thinks they are different and some learn from others' mistakes. At 18-21 you're still figuring out who you are. If the couple grows together and works it out, now that's a beautiful thing!

I fell in love with my husband when we first met. He was 18 and I was 20.

Previously I'd gone out with a lovely man (James) for four years who I'd have happily married when I was 19. However, when I look back at it, I'm only too aware that I'd have been deeply unhappy. I still get on with James very well, but I grew up and changed so much in my early 20s, I know if I'd stayed with him, I'd have forced myself to be the same person and I'd never have been truly satisfied.

So, after meeting Alex, who quickly became my best friend, and feeling so intensely about him, I decided to play the long game. It was three years before we started "going out" and we married five years after that, so it was eight years. So, while I do believe in "love at first sight," I also believe in thorough testing!

The time we spent going out was precious to us both, we knew that what was keeping us together was about how much we loved being together rather than legal/financial/price/family nonsense, and that gave the kind of inner security that a wedding just doesn't buy! When we married, we knew we were saying "yep - we're certain our theory about love is correct - we've even tested it!" And our marriage was about celebrating our love rather than about proving anything to anyone.

You children (yes, you are - look back at yourselves in five years and you'll realize I'm right, unless you're too stubborn to admit it) thinking you're "ready" to marry after two years or whatever scare me like hell. Why do you need to marry so soon? Enjoy the hell out of your love for a decent time - you will be so much stronger for it and you will have a lot of fun knowing you're together for each other, and not for any other social pressures. Sure, talk about marriage as something you want - even let people know that in X years you fully intend on marriage, but prove your readiness to the world and each other by enjoying every second of being boyfriend and girlfriend.

Then have a wonderful wedding where, rather than all of your friends and family and even yourselves thinking "but are they really ready?" everyone will instead celebrate wildly, knowing that two people are so much in long-lasting love and are joining their lives to each other. I can tell you for free that that is a wonderful feeling! Patience is a virtue and a blessing!

I am 19 years old and I am planning to get married to the person I can honestly see myself with for the rest of my life. I want to live with him, however, before we get married for a couple reasons.

One, I want to make sure that I truly know the person that I plan to be with forever, not the perfect persona he shows the world. Two, we both have goals for ourselves. He works hard as a supervisor and wants to finish getting his degree in business to be a manager at the company he works for. As for me, I want to get my degree in broadcast journalism. We are both 100 percent supportive of each others' dreams and we know that they will involve some sacrifices. We won't be happy until we feel that we have accomplished this in ourselves because we both want to have careers that ultimately make us happy.

We want these things for each other and are willing to help push each other towards our goals, however we don't want to be apart during the process. This came as a shock to my family. To us, moving in together while we are engaged makes perfect sense, but to my parents, it is the stupidest idea. My father has been married three times and feels that a marriage this young will never work. He would rather us have a long distance relationship for the four years it would take me to go to school. And when I told him I didn't agree with that, he told me he would rather I be married before we live together because it's a legal document that protects me from getting hurt in the future. Also, he feels like I'd be living in sin if I wasn't married and we chose to be together.

My father has made it clear that he does not approve of my decision and made me read this site along with others to try and persuade me of my decision. I know what I want.

I want to be with the love of my life and it's disappointing that so many people get divorced these days, and that there is a stigma surrounding young couples getting married. I truly believe that the right people can make it work and that if you have commitment, trust, communication, and respect for one another it can work, especially if your partner wants for you what you want for yourself.

I know it won't be easy, but I have learned that I can't make my choice by trying to please anyone else. I have to do what I think will make me the happy and what I truly believe will work for us. There are only two people in this relationship and only we two will thrive or suffer from the choices we make.

I am 17 years old. My fiance and I have been together for two years now. I met him when I was 15 and he was 18. He proposed to me at 16 and we have grown together as one over this time period.

We planned so much for our lives and are very much up to date doing so. He planned to join the Air force and I plan to finish high school a year earlier than initially.

He is now in the Air Force Honor Guard and I am six months from graduation. Our wedding will be in 2013. I have spent the hardest moments of my life away from him, but I am even stronger with him. Marriage will be no different for us because we have adapted to each other's ways. Once he graduated from BMT and was stationed, I had the opportunity to live with him during the summer.

He is now here on leave for a week and we have obtained a stronger bond, a stronger love, and a stronger vision together. Some young marriages may not work. Honestly, marriage isn't for everyone but If you know what you want and can compromise under any situation everything will work out.

It's easy to listen to someone else's stories and draw your own perception of marriage. It's harder to try it for yourself because no one's marriage will be the same.

I moved in with my boyfriend straight out of high school got pregnant a few months after. We have been dating since I was in elementary school. We got married at the age of 23 and 28. We thought that was the best time. I now believe that age difference between the couple also makes a difference.

I don't think I enjoyed my adolescent age of traveling, partying and just hanging out with friends. Now i feel as if I'm caged up too because he wants to have friends and I can't speak to anyone. He is jealous and controlling.

Anyone who gets married younger than I did and it lasts, they are strong. But we can't tell anyone not to get married at any age, because just like I was, they are also love-blind.

I got married when I was 14 years old and have been happily married for 20 years now and I don't regret a thing. My husband was also in the military for six years of that marriage and it only made us stronger. He is my best friend and I love him more and more each day. It all depends on how you view marriage.

I personally believe if a couple wants to marry young, they can. However, actually putting the effort and commitment into a marriage is what really matters. If it's definitely something two people want, especially if they both carry the same values, then they can make it work if they seriously follow through with it. It all really lies on commitment and serious thought before jumping on it too quickly.

It is surprising how many young people already have plans to marry, but if they understand and deeply comprehend the responsibilities and promises it comes with, then no one else should have the final say.

My 21-year-old grandson just announced he is getting married to his 20-year-old, mother of two, girlfriend, after being "together" for two months. Neither of them has even a GED yet. She works in a fast-food place for a living, and he is unemployed. I am ill at the prospect.

The girl was the one to do the proposing, and I am afraid my grandson may have been so flattered that he accepted. He says she is probably not pregnant but that he would not be unhappy if she were, which makes me suspicious. I am afraid he is going to be faced with an early divorce and supporting a child he wasn't ready for. And as for his career dreams, he can kiss them goodbye.

Marriage has to be planned for, not jumped into at the deep end with no life support such as an education, a decent job, and some life experience behind you.

We got married at 17 and 19. Although goals have been set aside, that does not mean they will not be achieved. In marriage, you have to make compromises on both ends and that is true for a marriage started at any age. We support each other and will go the distance no matter what has to happen.

All of this negativity is why none of your marriages worked. You don't get married to spend your life hating each other and blaming each other for what you gave up. You love and help each other get what you desire out of life. There is nothing wrong with young marriages if you can handle having that commitment.

Getting married was the best thing that could have ever happened to us and we will continue to grow every day from it. (Just celebrated seven years.)

Me and my fiance are getting married at ages 18 and 19. It seems crazy to many, but everyone only focuses on horror stories. It will be hard and for many was hard, but that's not to say it is impossible. I think many of you need to keep that in mind.

I think the most absurd thing about all the criticism of young marriage is the assumption that everyone getting married plans to have kids. I don't intend to have children until I'm much older, but I'm planning to get married around 19, because I know who I want to spend my life with. And it's perfectly reasonable for an intelligent, forward thinking young person to look at someone they share interests and aspirations with, are politically and theologically compatible with, and decide that they would love to be together.

Honestly, being single isn't everything. It means there is someone on your team for life. He's my partner in crime and always will be.

getting married at a young age is crazy and you can't really be ready to get married and start thinking about having some children when you're still a child yourself.

I believe a person at age 18 or 19 can feel an honest desire to get married and raise a family, but very few people should actually pursue it at that age. I remember a few of my high school friends wanting to get married once they joined the military and found out they could receive more benefits with a family. Some of them actually went through with it, and just about all of those couples are now divorced or miserable. Marriage is already challenging, and adding the uncertainties of military life to the mix is just a tragedy waiting to happen.

Long separations during a young marriage are rarely helpful, and the daily struggles of maintaining a home and raising a family are often too much for an 18 year old bride to handle.

I have seen young girls move straight from their families into starter marriages and now they're divorced in their 30s and have never had to live on their own. It's like a delayed adolescence/young adulthood for them. They either can't find decent employment because of a lack of secondary education, or they start college as non-traditional students and have children to raise as well. Either way, it's a difficult position to be in.

It doesn't seem to be as tough for men who marry early to recover from the trauma of divorce, however. They seem to have the luxury of writing off their first marriage as a mistake and move onto another relationship. Single mothers, however, are often stigmatized in the dating world as desperate or troubled.

I wouldn't advise anyone to get married young unless they are prepared to handle life in their 30s as divorced or single parents.

I recently became engaged at the age of 19, but the wedding will not be held until I am 21. All this cynicism makes me heartbroken -- my fiance and I are deeply in love, but also deeply in respect and communication and self-control. At 21, we both will be completely ready for marriage. We would be ready now, if not for financial reasons that we want to wait until we are more grounded.

I believe young marriages can work just as much as old marriages.

i married at 22, and after only four months of marriage we are now parting. i married for the wrong reasons and to please others rather than myself. i had a life plan from my early teens and was set that i wanted this, this and this in that order and pushed for it so hard that the choices of marrying were not made jointly.

I got married way old, and so far, after 25 years, I think we're going to go the distance! Whenever I hear of some young kids getting married, I think "well, it's good to get that first disastrous starter marriage out of the way early in life".

I once read an article by some Bible thumper who thought it would be a swell idea for teenagers to get married (so they wouldn't "sin" outside of marriage and get knocked up, diseases, etc.). Not only get married at 16 or 17, but then live with their parents (whichever set wanted 'em, I guess) and be supported by their parents until the young couple got on their feet somewhere down the road!

Yeah, swell idea. Your son is flunking out of 11th grade, but he's happy performing his marital duties in the bedroom next to yours! Ugh! Eek!

Everyone is different. I married at 19, went from a strict home directly into a marriage. Now at 32 I feel caged in. My husband was controlling and is trying to improve but it's just not enough.

We have no kids nor do I want any. I already feel trapped as it is. The thought of just once having my own place making one decision that doesn't involve another is so exciting. I'm not free. I've never been free. I make my own money so I can aurvive alone. Sometimes I just want to say it's over. Let me go. Find another woman to control. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

I'd turn to my family but they base all decisions on religion and divorce isn't a godly option. Does happiness matter to them? I swear they'd be cool with me being miserable my whole life as long as I never divorced. I fear one day I will explode and just end this "perfect little life". Someone else can have it.

I got married in my early 20's. Now 33, I look back and feel that I missed being on my own and fending for myself. Perhaps I was afraid of being on my own. Nevertheless, I can also say that I've had the opportunity to grow as a person simultaneously with my spouse.

We put having children in the back burner, as we felt that we could not form a person when we both were still forming as individuals. If I had to do it over, I'd do it all the same. No regrets, just learning experiences!