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When it comes to telling Christmas jokes, delivery is the key. While everyone wants to share funny jokes and experiences filled with holiday humor, the delivery may be more important than the punch line. Forgetting the punch line is of course, a certain joke killer, so people should practice their best jokes a few times to make sure they get big laughs.
To get the kids to smile, people can usually get away with simple or even silly Christmas jokes, like these:
If you lose a tooth on Christmas Eve, what holiday song should you sing?
Grandma got run over by the Tooth Fairy.
What makes the Christmas alphabet different?
It has no L.
How do you know if Santa thinks you’re naughty instead of nice?
When you sit on Santa’s lap and say you’ve been good, Santa says "Ha, ha, ha" instead of "Ho, ho, ho."
Sharing Christmas jokes with adults requires a bit more effort. It's always a good idea to smile to set the mood. People who make up their own jokes should remember that situations people can relate to in their everyday lives are the ones that tend to inspire the most humor. Those who don’t want to make up their own jokes can pick up a joke book or look up funny jokes online. The following should also be good for some giggles:
If Santa and Mrs. Claus had twins what do you think they would call them?
A pair of subordinate clauses.
A man is out shopping for his wife’s Christmas gift and he asks the sales clerk for ideas, indicating that he doesn’t want to spend much money. The clerk brings over a beautiful gold necklace, on sale for only $100.00. The man shakes his head no. The clerk brings over several choices of perfume at $60.00 per bottle. Once again, the man shakes his head no and says, “Listen, I’d like to look at something cheap.” The clerk returns quickly and holds up a mirror.
Here are some jokes that can be used at an office Christmas party:
What did the bald co-worker say when he received a comb in the office grab bag?
This is something I’ll never part with.
How is Christmas like my job?
I’m the one who does all the work but the old guy with the funny looking suit gets all the credit.
There are plenty of great Christmas jokes to keep people laughing throughout the holiday season. Even Santa likes to share some holiday humor every so often. Do you know how Santa prefaces his jokes?
“This one will sleigh you.”
@StormyKnight: Signs of Christmas Everywhere
Toy Store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here."
Bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas."
Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club."
At a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale.
Come in and mangle with the crowd."
A Texas jewelry store: "Diamond tiaras -- $70,000.
Three for $200,000.
A reducing salon: "24 Shaping Days until Christmas."
In a stationery store: "For the man who has everything...
a calendar to remind him when payments are due."
@:StormyKnight: Entering Heaven
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's glasses.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The man replied, "They're Carol's."
I'm planning a Christmas party and need some good jokes. Does anyone have any to share?
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