What are the Mother of the Groom's Responsibilities?

In a wedding, the mother of the groom’s responsibilities are not as widely known as the responsibilities of other members of the wedding party. What the groom's mother is responsible for, however, is vitally important and quite varied. Traditionally, her job includes initiating contact with the bride’s family, providing a guest list for the wedding invitations, and making hotel reservations for any out-of-town guests of the groom’s family. However, many of the rules regarding who performs which duties and who pays for what have melded over the years, and often the customs vary according to where the couple lives and their own family traditions.

Also by tradition, the mother of the groom should wait to choose her dress for the wedding until after the mother of the bride has made her selection. Then, she should choose a dress that is similar in style and formality. In other words, if the mother of the bride chooses a floor length dress, so should the mother of the groom.

The mother of the groom’s responsibilities also include the rehearsal dinner, which the groom’s family plans, hosts and pays for. The rehearsal dinner does not have to be a formal, expensive dinner; it can be a picnic or cookout. All persons participating in the wedding are invited to the rehearsal dinner, along with their spouses or significant others.

Of course, the mother of the groom attends the bridal shower and gives a gift. Another of her responsibilities is to contact any friends or relatives of the groom’s family who have not responded to the wedding invitation. It is helpful to the couple if the mother of the groom helps spread the word about where the couple has registered their wedding gift wishes.

At the actual wedding, the mother of the groom’s responsibilities are quite simple. She is escorted to the first row on the right hand side. Often, the head usher, a groomsman who is part of the family, or even the groom himself, escorts her to her seat. If the ceremony includes a family candle, she, along with the mother of the bride, lights that candle. In the receiving line, the mother of the groom stands between the bride and her mother so that she can introduce the bride to friends and relatives of the groom.

The groom’s family traditionally pays for the groom’s cake at the reception and the tux or formal wear for the groom’s father, so that can be added to the mother of the groom’s responsibilities. If the groom so desires, his mother might help with his responsibilities for the wedding, such as the bride’s bouquet and boutonnieres for the mothers and grandmothers. The groom's father and mother are certainly welcome to offer financial assistance for other parts of the wedding as well.