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What Causes Miscarriages?

Smoking cigarettes during pregnancy can cause miscarriages.
Some women are re-vaccinated for measles to prevent miscarriages.
A pregnant woman.
One reason for miscarriage is when the embryo does not form a functioning heart.
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  • Written By: Tricia Ellis-Christensen
  • Edited By: O. Wallace
  • Last Modified Date: 08 April 2014
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A miscarriage is the spontaneous abortion of an unborn child prior to the 20th week of pregnancy. Causes for a miscarriage are numerous. Frequently, miscarriages occur before the 12th week of pregnancy, and about 20-30% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Some miscarriages occur so early that the pregnant woman may not even notice she has been pregnant. These tend to occur in the first two to three weeks of a pregnancy, and usually are due to the lack of the embryo to implant. In other cases, there is no embryo, and the resultant miscarriage is early, but is not the loss of child, though it may still be an emotionally difficult time for parents.

Miscarriages are not caused by working, engaging in sexual intercourse, or by exercising. In some cases, those with past miscarriages may be asked to refrain from such to increase the likelihood of a pregnancy reaching term. Yet in most cases, these normal behaviors have no effect whatsoever on the developing child.

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Miscarriages can also be caused by genetic abnormalities so severe that life is not sustainable in utero. Failure for an embryo to form a functioning heart or brain due to genetic misfiring usually means fetal death. Often these abnormalities are not the result of known genetic causes in the parents. Conception and formation of a child is a hugely complex process from a genetic standpoint. Genes must come together, specialize and then dictate all the processes that will create a person. In some cases, genes make mistakes, and the result can be a miscarriage.

There are some genetic disorders that may be carried by both parents, or one parent recessively, which can cause severe malformations and miscarriages. When a woman has had more than two miscarriages, obstetricians will often refer the couple to a genetic counselor to rule out a genetic cause.

Another cause of miscarriage is malformation or scarring of the uterus, which results in the inability for the unborn child to properly grow. If more than one miscarriage has occurred, and there have been no full-term pregnancies, resulting in a live birth, the obstetrician may perform examinations like ultrasounds to see if the uterus is properly formed. In severe cases, this may be determined by a regular examination. Often, however, ultrasounds, or magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) is needed to rule out uterine malformation, and may show a surgically correctable problem.

Some diseases may also cause miscarriage. Exposure to measles for a woman who is not immune can cause either miscarriages or severe malformation of an unborn child. Frequently, now, a woman who wants to get pregnant has her immunity tested to determine whether she needs to be re-vaccinated for measles. If a new vaccination is required, the woman may have to wait a few months before trying to get pregnant.

Chronic illnesses like diabetes and lupus have also been indicated in higher risk of miscarriage. Diabetes that is well controlled by medication carries a lower risk, but when the disease is uncontrolled the rate of both miscarriage and birth defects significantly escalates. Lupus, an autoimmune disorder, can create a situation where normal cells that control immunity do not distinguish between germs and the body’s organs. This may cause the cells to attack the growing embryo, rendering it non-sustainable.

Further risk factors are smoking during pregnancy, using certain medications contraindicated during pregnancy, and use of illegal drugs. In most cases however, there is no identifiable cause, and women often feel mistakenly guilty for “causing” a miscarriage. Guilt is often worse because women experiencing a miscarriage are at the same risk for postpartum depression as women who have had a complete pregnancy resulting in a healthy child. Both loss and guilt, however, are reasons enough to feel depressed and may be exacerbated by the loss of pregnancy hormones.

Since there are such a high number of miscarriages, a first miscarriage may not be cause for investigation, particularly if it takes place prior to the 12th week of pregnancy. Miscarriages taking place closer to the 20th week are more suspect, and an obstetrician may want to initiate testing to discover potential causes. More than two miscarriages usually call for investigation to help prevent future lost pregnancies.

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Discuss this Article

anon330092
Post 117

I am currently 8 weeks pregnant and had a miscarriage last year. I have two beautiful boys already and during both of those pregnancies, I had morning sickness every day from six weeks till delivery. During my last pregnancy that I lost, I had some signs of pregnancy, but no morning sickness and lost the baby at eight weeks.

This time again I am having no morning sickness. Everyone keeps telling me not to worry because every pregnancy is different. I can't help but worry. Can my pregnancy really be that different?

I am so scared I will lose this one too. I am trying to stay positive but can't help worry. Any positive stories to put my mind at ease?

anon301490
Post 116

I'm 26 and I have one 5 year old daughter. I was on the depo for 4 1/2 years and I got off the depo and five months later, I was pregnant. I had a miscarriage and two months later had another miscarriage. I was hurt but it is God's will and he will make a way. We want a boy so hopefully one day it will happen.

anon295918
Post 115

I am thirty four years old. I got married almost two and a half years ago. My husband and I had been trying for a baby since day one. We finally had some good news when I tested positive for bhcg in Sept 2012. I was five to six weeks pregnant, according to the test. My ultrasound was showing I was one week behind, but the baby was growing normally. The only concern was that the fetal heartbeat was not clear. Then, I started spotting and doctors performed an internal ultrasound. The embryo was formed at eight weeks but the heartbeat was irregular on doppler. I was advised to take complete bed rest and then I started bleeding and cramping badly on the fourth day.

They advised me to have a D&C because the sac had detached from uterus and it was going towards natural abortion. I felt empty on the inside. I had even shopped some clothes for my baby and I could feel myself bonding to it. My husband had never been so happy as he was at hearing news of the baby.

It's by God's will and He can feel our pain. Being a mom is the most beautiful gift a woman can receive and we just have to keep praying to God and He will listen.

May all women who have gone through this trauma have many healthy babies so that the previous wounds can heal. Love to all.

anon270128
Post 114

I am 32 years old and I have three handsome sons, 14, 12,and 6 and a wonderful husband. We found out we were pregnant in December. At the time, I was 5 weeks and 5 days. So my husband and I told the boys and they were so happy; we all wanted a girl. My husband already had her name and everything.

So Christmas passed and everything was fine. Two days before New Year's, I went to use the restroom and I had a smear on the tissue. I'd never had that before so I called my mom and she said my sister was like that when she first go pregnant, so I went on. The night before New Year's, it was still happening so I told my husband and we went to the ER. They did the scan and didn't hear anything and they did the test and it still was positive. All the time I was praying Lord please don't let anything happen to our baby.

So New Year's came and I got up. My husband and the boys were gone fishing, so I went to the bathroom and I was still smearing, so I went back to the ER and they did another scan and didn't hear or see anything. She did a vaginal and told me to get dressed and the doctor would see me shortly.

He came and and asked me how many kids I had and I said three. He asked if they were all living and I said yes. Well he said, I'm sorry to tell you that you had a miscarriage and my heart just dropped. I didn't know what to say or do, because I didn't have any pain or anything other than the smearing.

I didn't know how I was going to tell my husband and the boys. When we told them they were very sad. I still get teary eyes now. But with all being said, we are not going to get up trying because we know God has a plan for us. My prayers go out to all of you also, and thanks for reading my story. God bless!

anon254251
Post 113

I found out that I was pregnant about a year ago. My boyfriend and I, being 21 and 19, didn't know what to do or how to feel. It took me until I was ten weeks to get up the courage to tell my parents. We had it all planned out. We were going to tell them on a weekend.

I got very sick, before the weekend came, though, and ended up in bed for a week, on different medications and with a fever. As the sickness started to pass, I had pains and bleeding, and after going to the hospital, found out I had miscarried. It still hurts to this day to know that just as my boyfriend and I had accepted the fact and started to be excited about a baby, it was gone.

I waited four months before I went to my Mom and told her what had happened. She held me and we cried.

anon218294
Post 112

I'm 18 and I went to the doctor and saw my baby's heartbeat at 8 weeks 5 days. I had went to the doctor again to have another ultrasound and I was supposed to be 11 weeks 5 days, but when he measured, he said I was 10 weeks 5 days. He couldn't find a heartbeat so he had me go to the hospital the next week.

I prayed every day that everything was fine. But it wasn't. After I went to the hospital they told me to go back to my doctor and right there he told me and my boyfriend that I lost the baby. We cried and I was so depressed for days. I had a D&C two weeks later, so knowing I had a dead baby in me for four weeks hurt.

There was no explanation for why it happened but I moved recently and was moving heavy stuff and moved across the state and not eating healthy, so I figure it's something to do with that. It was my first child and I have always wanted to be a mother. I want to try again but I can't go through this again. But I will risk it, just to be able to give birth to a healthy baby one day.

anon180577
Post 111

I have a question if anyone can answer it. I haven't been to the doctor yet but I'm pretty sure I'm four to five weeks pregnant but i had light pink spotting a week ago. now it has turned into dark red blood and dark brown blood. It occurs regularly as if it was a mild period been going on for three straight days. Yet i see no sign of a fetus and threw up this morning and took a test later this evening that showed i was pregnant! Do you think there is a possibility that i will miscarry soon?

anon169903
Post 110

I'm 29 and have had 10 miscarriages, one tubal and one live birth that is no longer with me. These things are the hardest things in the world to go through for you as the mother to an unborn baby, to the father who was wanting to see the product of his love for the mother and everyone else involved..

As I type, I found out today I am almost four weeks pregnant with a HCG of 300ml and they put me on progesterone 100mg suppositories until i can get to my doctor to get the shots to take every other day because come to find out, most of my problems are from low progesterone production in my body.

I'm scared, worried, happy, excited and everything all in one, but really all I can do is take care of me, do what I am supposed to and pray for the best. I am calling for another OB/GYN appointment on monday and to get another ultrasound done (the one at the ER showed nothing but a "possible" sac and I am very early so we will see).

I feel for everyone here. Prayers and wishes to you all and hope that you feel the peace that you need in life from having this happen.

anon167033
Post 109

I recently lost my baby. It was only 12 weeks but by that time, i was talking to it and following all the rules. This is the second time. I just came out of hospital where i had the evacuation operation. It hurts so bad. The logical part of me says well, it was just 12 weeks, but i keep remembering the cramps, the water gushing out and my little baby with all its 10 toes and ten fingers. he looked perfect. What went wrong? This is the second miscarriage i've had.

anon161474
Post 108

i read these stories and they make me sad. i have had one miscarriage, and i sit here pregnant, and thinking to myself if i had a miscarriage with this baby i would be devastated! Hopefully god is is with me and the baby and lets me carry it to full term. I'm currently 15 weeks and going strong! You all are very strong women and I'm so sorry for what you have gone through. i wish nothing but the best for your futures and i pray that one day god gives you a child. My heart goes out to you all!

anon160552
Post 107

I was 30 years old. My husband and i were so excited last year when we found out that i was pregnant. It was the very first time that I had actually get pregnant. As weeks went by, we read as much as we could about pregnancy and we imagined what was going on in my tummy as the baby was growing.

We got to the 10 week point and we went to visit family, and it was then that i noticed little drops of blood in my underwear. Fear gripped me, and i told my husband and we rushed off to the doctor. There was a long wait until it was our turn to see him. I remember praying constantly, asking God to not take my baby away.

I lay on the bed and the doctor did his scan. I was expecting to hear a heartbeat. The doctor was silent and when he spoke all he said was get dressed and we needed to talk. He told us that we were in process of miscarrying, that the baby turned out to be a blighted ovum. I remember feeling fear. He said that my body was rejecting the ovum and that i would get a period. There was still hope because i wasn't bleeding as yet. My husband and i stood on the staircase of the hospital and i cried my heart out.

I begged God to help - to step in and make my baby get a heart beat. It was so hard to let go. By that evening, despite all the praying, the spotting didn't stop. By 5 the next morning, i woke up with extreme pain. i was bleeding so badly. I took pain killers, had a bath and my husband and i went to the hospital. It was all over, and i was numb. I couldn't cry when family came to see me. i pretended everything was all right.

When i did break down was when my husband was going to the hospital shop and he asked me if i wanted anything. I told him i wanted my baby back - we both cried in each other's arms. It was the worst day of our lives.

Three months after the miscarriage, i was pregnant again. I am now four months pregnant, the anxiety is there and i am holding my breath. But all seems to be going well. We've been given a second chance. It still hurts when i think about my baby that i lost. In spite of the doctor and people saying it was an egg, to me, it was my child and i will never forget my little baby that i never had a chance to hold. You never forget the hurt; you just keep living one day at a time.

anon160132
Post 106

I am 35 years old with a loving partner and two beautiful boys nine and 11 years. Last year we found out i was six weeks pregnant.

My boys were over the moon they were going to be big brothers to a younger brother/sister and they had no preference as to the sex. I felt so fortunate to be able to give my sons the gift of younger sibling that they were capable of helping to care for and nurture that i received much support and 'special' attention from these three men in my life.

Then the unthinkable happened: at 11 weeks i started bleeding heavily & straight away i knew it wasn't a good sign. My partner rushed me to the hospital and was later told after a scan that my baby died at seven weeks old..i was devastated!

The scan they showed me the sac and the little embryo inside, my little angel. I couldn't see or talk to anyone for at least two days and breaking the news to my boys the next day was heart breaking. My eldest son dropped his head when we told them our little angel was in Heaven, and my youngest was visibly distraught with so much sadness for days; it literally broke my heart to see them go through this pain.

With much love and support from family and friends we got through it but i know the impact on my boys will last a long time. I took for granted that this could ever happen to me. My partner and i are still actively trying to conceive but we will be very mindful of when we will tell our boys of any success as i couldn't bear putting them thru the heartache again.

DeDe14
Post 105

I am 28 years old and have two beautiful boys. I was recently pregnant with my third son. My husband, children, and I were so happy to be adding another one to our growing family.

Tragedy hit in January, when I found out I was dilated 3-4cm and that my bag of waters was protruding out of my cervix. I was rushed to the hospital and four days later gave birth to my son. I was only 22 weeks pregnant. He only lived for five minutes and I didn't even get to spend time with him when he was alive.

I was rushed into surgery because the placenta was attached inside my uterus and I had to have an emergency hysterectomy. I lost almost all my blood and ended up having a blood transfusion. I have no idea why the placenta attached wrong and neither does the doctor. It didn't show on any ultrasound. Now all I am left with is the sadness and loss of my son who I love so much. My husband and kids are here to help me, but sometimes I feel so alone.My husband and I talk about it and I know he is there for me.

I feel for all the woman who have lost a child or even a pregnancy. I don't think I would be able to go through a miscarriage once and there are a lot of woman who have gone through it more then twice. I am so sorry for your loss and I know god works in mysterious ways. There is a reason for everything he does, it's just that sometimes we don't know what they are. I know my son is with me at all times It just hurts knowing that he will never be in my arms or here with us.

I want to say to the woman who have gone through a loss: Don't give up! You will have your baby some day. I wish you all the best and thank you for reading my story! Good luck and remember no matter what happens God is with you even when you feel alone!

anon155104
Post 103

my last period was the end of December. I took my first pregnancy test a month later and it said negative, so I took one the next day, again negative. I was bummed. But still no period.

I tested again about four days later and i started bleeding, thought it was my period, so i threw the test in the garbage. When i went to the bathroom a while later, no period. So i dug the test out of the garbage, and it was positive!

I rested the next day and again positive. I took another test four days later and positive! A week later, I woke up and I was bleeding. I went to the er, and my hcg level was only 99 and the ultrasound showed nothing. The doctor said i was just really early. I went back to the doctor three days later and my hcg level was 103, rising which was good news.

I went back two days later and my level was 163. I was so happy it went up, didn't double but went up. I am still spotting which had me worried, but the doctor said not to worry.

I went back today, and my hcg level was 70 and the doctor said I am going to miscarry I am beyond devastated. I just don't know what to think.

anon152695
Post 102

I am 30 and have a beautiful son with my husband who is 9 and he has a son from a previous relationship who is almost 12. We have custody of him.

I wanted to wait till the boys were older to try and have another baby. That way, they were more independent and i could spend more time with the baby. And of course, them being older, they could be more a part of it. We were trying to have a baby for six months and finally we got pregnant.

When i went to the baby's heartbeat appointment at 10 weeks, she didn't hear a heartbeat. My boys were with me because they were so excited to hear the baby's heartbeat. So she took us in the ultrasound room to take a look because sometimes she said they will hide on you.

When she started looking at the ultrasound and taking pictures, she asked the boys to step back out to the waiting room please. I knew when she said that something was wrong. I started getting really scared.

I asked, "What is wrong?" She said, " I don't know how to tell you this honey, but i don't see a heartbeat." I was confused like what are you saying? She says, "honey your baby is dead, i am so sorry." I didn't even know what to think.

She said i was only showing at 8 weeks and i was 10 weeks. That means the baby was dead inside me two weeks. I freaked out, crying and asking why and how this could happen. They said it is related to genetic chromosomes that don't connect properly or something. The wrong egg got with the wrong sperm.

I was devastated. I got a D&C the next day and i was so scared. My doctor reassured me i can go on to have another baby. But, after reading all these stories it makes me scared it will happen again.

My whole family is excited for a new baby and we want it so bad. I can't wait to have a little baby in my arms again. It was so hard telling my boys this news and my husband. I feel robbed and empty.

Now i am scared i waited too long, but i am only 30. Most people don't start having babies until they are my age or older. They said it was nothing we did and to keep trying. I will not give up. I want it too bad. But, i am so afraid to put my family through this over and over. It is very hard. One minute you are pregnant and the next minute you're not, with nothing to show for it. It hurts.

Rather it be one miscarriage, than two, three or more. I feel for anyone who has gone through this. My heart is with you. You just try to think that God works in mysterious ways and that it happens for a reason, but you still feel sad, lost and scared.

I am just trying to think positive, but you still worry about the next time. Another miscarriage would be so hard to go through. I pray for all of you that have had miscarriages. I am so sorry. Don't give up. I will keep trying and hopefully i will be holding a little baby in my arms soon. I wish the same for all of you. Keep your head up.

anon152442
Post 101

I'm 27 and i had two miscarriages in a year. during the first, i was strong enough but after the next one i was totally broken down. My faith, my belief in me and everything is now finished. I am so lonely. My family is supportive, but the pain is unbearable. My baby, my child, my blood, my life.

anon151500
Post 100

I am 34 years old and I have a 14 year old. I have had five miscarriages in three years. All of my miscarriages have been between 5 and 7 weeks. During my fourth miscarriage I went to the bathroom and passed a clot. I looked at it because it was an unusual color. As I fished it out of the toilet I noticed that it was gray and it was a fetus. It had a tail and two spots that looked like eyes. I was devastated.

My last miscarriage was at the farthest along was at seven weeks. I had an ultrasound and we heard a heartbeat. We were so excited because all of my other miscarriages were early before there was a heartbeat.

At my nine week visit there was no heartbeat and the doctor suspected that I miscarried shortly after we heard the heart. That was in December 2009.

I am now 5 weeks pregnant and feeling anxious. I have an appointment next week when I will be six weeks and I am trying to be optimistic, I have faith and I believe that this time will be different.

I hope and pray that God will wrap his arms around me and this baby and allow me to carry this baby full term. Even if it doesn't happen I have faith that someday I will have my baby. May God bless all of you that have had failed pregnancies and be encouraged that God will not give us more than we can bear.

anon147946
Post 99

Wow. I read so many different and touching stories here but i really don't know where to start from. It's no one's wish to have any pregnancy related problems, but i know with God, all things will work out the way we all pray for it to come.

To those who have had one or two miscarriages, i pray God will grant you and see you through your next pregnancy with ease. Amen.

anon142266
Post 98

I have three children, 17, 15 and 9. My husband and I didn't want any more children as our family was completed. I had my last child in 2001 with no complications -- all delivered normally, but after having my nine year old, eight days later I started bleeding heavily.

I was rushed back in hospital and didn't have a clue what was going on and found out some of the placenta was left behind so i had to have a D&C. It was very frightening at that time.

In october 2010 found out i was pregnant. I was very shocked and happy at the same time so was my husband. Then one week before i was ready for 12 week scan i started to show some spotting and a few cramping pains the scan was brought forward. I was 11 and a half weeks, but the scan was showing eight weeks. The baby was there on screen but had no heartbeat. It was the worst nightmare ever.

I am 41 now and that could be the cause due to my age and on the other hand, i might have a damaged uterus from the d&c. If it is that, i am very angry. I feel for all. It's bad enough miscarrying one, but never two or three. Thanks for reading.

anon141436
Post 97

I had two miscarriages last year. i was in the 22nd week and i was so devastated that it kind of separated me and my husband for a couple of months.

I'm a mother of three kids, and then again i had another miscarriage last week. i was in my 16th week. I'm so depressed but by god, we will recover from this once again, but i pray that it do not distance me from my husband.

So i can understand the other women on this page. Just keep praying an have faith in the Lord.

anon140049
Post 96

I'm 21 years old and I have a 20 month old daughter. I had a miscarriage yesterday and it was so hard, even though we were not planning to get pregnant because I'm in school and will be graduating this april and it's just not the right time for another baby.

My period was late for about a week so I didn't think anything of it until i started feeling morning sickness. On Tuesday after class I went home and took a pregnancy test and it came up positive. I started crying because it was such bad timing but after i told my husband he was so excited and so happy so i thought to myself that i'ts god's will and i got all excited, too.

I went to bed and woke up the next day bleeding, and went to the ER. They did a blood test and they found my hcg level was 44 percent then an ultrasound and they didnt find anything -- not even an embryo -- so the doctor told me i either miscarried this morning or I'm really, really early -- less than 5 weeks pregnant. But I have a feeling that i miscarried.

Even though i didn't want to get pregnant but after knowing it made it so much harder.

anon137161
Post 95

I am 38 and am blessed to have fourth beautiful children. I had always prided myself on being "fertile myrtle", until 2008 when we found out I was pregnant for the fifth time. Five other girlfriends were also pregnant and due around the same time as me. I was 35, turning 36. The doctor said I was high risk because of my age. I thought that was a bit extreme as I had never had a problem previously.

Well at 12 weeks I awoke to a wet bed. It was my amniotic fluid. I realized at that moment I was no longer pregnant. In a split second, everything changes. We had just had an ultrasound earlier in the week and everything looked good. I went to the hospital in active labor, contractions coming quickly, but ended up back at home to deliver the fetus. When your child is delivered into a toilet and your husband has to retrieve your child with utensils from your kitchen, life is never the same again!

Ironically, one of the women who was pregnant had a miscarriage on the same day as me in the same hospital. Another friend had a stillbirth about seven months.

If that wasn't hard enough to get over, I had another miscarriage yesterday, Christmas morning, about an hour before all my children woke to open presents. They didn't know I was pregnant this time.

I was so ready for a baby after all the time that had gone by since the last miscarriage. Everyone says it's not your fault, but you can't help but think deep down that it is something within you that's wrong.

God does have a plan, and it's not always ours, and that's where faith and hope take over.

Finally, what I was able to take away from the first miscarriage was that I understood fully what so many other women experiencing miscarriages have gone through firsthand. The women in my life who would normally not talk about what they went through were able to talk to me and express their grief and mine to them. It is healing!

My pain is raw now and I hope to try again. Sarah in the Bible was well over 38 and she was able to have a child. With Christ anything is possible! Amen. Christ died so we could truly live. Believing is truly seeing. Sincerely, NLC

anon135787
Post 94

I'm 25 and 10 weeks five days pregnant. I started bleeding yesterday and today the hospital did an internal ultrasound scan and the baby has no heartbeat and is only measuring seven weeks.

The hardest thing to get my head around is that it's been dead inside me for four whole weeks. Before any bleeding started, I wanted this baby so much. I did everything right and it makes me sick how it has happened to someone like me when there are people out there who drink and smoke and loads more and they go on to have perfect, healthy babies.

anon133875
Post 93

To all the women above, I had a miscarriage the day I found out I was pregnant in 1988. I was devastated. I prayed for that child. It took me from 1988-1996 to have another child. I already had one who is 30 now. My baby is 14. Please don't give up. I wish I had not had a hysterectomy in 1998 or I would have had another child but I had endometriosis and had to have it.

anon133482
Post 92

I am 24 and i lost my baby at 12 weeks or so I was supposed to be. but when i went in for my ultrasound the baby was seven weeks and two days and had no heartbeat so i had to have a D&C the day before thanksgiving. this has truly been the hardest thing i have had to go through.

I feel so sad all the time and i cry whenever i pass by the baby aisles at the store. i really want to try to have another baby but i know i have to give myself time to get over this emotionally! reading everyone's stories gives me hope and makes me feel like I'm not alone. i wish everyone the best of luck.

anon128351
Post 91

I'm 34 and I've had four miscarriages since my 30th birthday, but I've also given birth to a baby boy after my third miscarriage (he arrived at 31 weeks) and thankfully is a healthy baby boy.

Me and hubby want a brother/sister for him but i recently miscarried again at five weeks. I hope i don't have to go through many more miscarriages as it breaks my heart every time. good luck to all and remember to try and keep positive.

anon127742
Post 90

I am currently 35 years old. In the last 2 1/2 years I have had five miscarriages and was pregnant with twins from an IVF cycle and ended up in the emergency room at 22 weeks and gave birth at 23 weeks and neither of them lived. That was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.

Recently I found out I was seven weeks pregnant and I miscarried once again. No one can seem to pinpoint my problem and this is very draining emotionally and physically. Has anyone had this problem and received a diagnosis?

hurting33
Post 89

I'm 33years old and i never thought i could get pregnant. well at 31 i got pregnant and i miscarried a little after my 32nd birthday in Nov. 2009. i was 13 weeks along.

Well i got pregnant again in March 2010 and i was scared i would end up miscarrying, as well as scared of other things, so i had an abortion in may. Well, here it is November 2010 and i found out i was pregnant a day after my 33rd birthday. i was hurting and cramping, and i just thought my period was extra late.

i went to the er and i found out i was five weeks two days pregnant and i had a threatened miscarriage. I was going for a follow up at an obgyn two days later, but i never made it because i was bleeding heavily. i went back to the er and was given another ultrasound and the yolk sac they saw Monday was gone, so yes, another miscarriage.

I just don't understand. I mean i only knew i was pregnant three days but it hurts me because i feel like God is mad at me and punishing me because of my abortion earlier this year. I'm so hurt and i feel like i can't even go on but that little ounce of faith is what keeps me going.

I'm devastated but somewhere deep inside i believe God has a plan for me and something great. after all this pain, he has something great in store to all of you who suffered a loss. please keep your head up. God bless you all and baby dust to you just know God has something great for all of us just believe.

anon125896
Post 88

I'm 17 and married to the love of my life. We've been together for five years, and in the past two years I've had two miscarriages. my ob/gyn does not know why its happening and it's so heartbreaking.

Every time i go to the mall and walk into the baby stores i start crying. It's a horrible thing to go through.

i know one day I'll be a mommy and we just have to keep the faith, but it's really hard to when you keep on getting knocked back down.

Our first miscarriage occurred at 12 weeks 5 days and my second happened two days ago. i was eight weeks three days and due the day before my 18th birthday.

anon125370
Post 87

i found out i was pregnant on my husband's birthday. we were so happy and excited.

at ten weeks i went to get my ultrasound to see my baby for the first time, but there was no baby. we were devastated. It was the worst day of my life!

a few of my friends were pregnant then too, and now sometimes it's hard to look at their growing bellies and know that my baby's gone.

i feel for everyone. you're not alone. god bless all of you and don't stop trying!

anon123385
Post 86

I had a miscarriage in sept. I'm wondering if I should get on birth control for a few months and then try and get pregnant again. I just don't want to miscarry again. I will be so hurt.

anon119600
Post 85

Just suffered a miscarriage today. In a way I feel kind of relieved since I was raped. My husband and I had sex and then a week later I was raped by an unknown attacker, who broke into my home. Just feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders since I was not sure if this baby was my husband's.

anon114815
Post 84

I am 20 and have had two miscarriages. I miscarried in jan. 2010 and last week in sept 2010. It's a really hard time to go through.

I just hope we get the testing we need to see what's causing it. After my first miscarriage I didn't even get to see the baby.

With this second one I saw the baby and heartbeat and then went back at 10 weeks and there was no heartbeat. It hurt so bad to see the baby. I was so excited to have my baby just lying there safe in my stomach.

My husband and I plan on trying again as soon as we can again! We have to wait since I had a D&C. Sorry to all the women out there that have went through miscarriages! I truly think it's one of the hardest times a woman can go through. My husband is even having a hard time.

It's so hard to see all my marine wife friends have babies and everything and I am the only one who doesn't have a baby. I hope to have a baby in 2011! Baby dust to everyone!

anon114769
Post 83

When I was 20 years old I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. I found out I was pregnant again when I was 28 and I lost the baby at seven weeks in July.

I guess from the beginning, I knew something wasn't right about this pregnancy. I had mild cramping from day one. I had cramping with my daughter too, but it didn't last all day and for several weeks. It was also uncomfortable to sleep.

I was really anticipating on getting to the second trimester with this pregnancy. I didn't even make it to my first prenatal appointment. Even though my loss was extremely painful emotionally, I didn't bleed a lot nor was I in pain physically. I only bled for a week. I didn't get a d&c. I'm sorry for all of your losses.

anon114081
Post 82

I'm 22 and just recently miscarried my second pregnancy at six weeks and three days. I will never have another second pregnancy. I was so excited about having another baby. I feel like I did something wrong. I have a three year old son who was looking forward to a little brother or sister. I have no idea what to tell him. He thinks he's still getting one.

My fiance and i would like to try again but I'm so afraid this will happen again. I had to have a c section with my first. I was wondering if maybe the scar tissue could have caused this? I'm sorry for all of everyone's loss. no one should have to go through this.

anon112834
Post 81

I am 22, and I have a son who is eight months old.

I had a miscarriage this June. I was seven weeks along. I don't know what caused the miscarriage, but it was incomplete, and I had to undergo a D&C.

i was under such terrible mental pain and loss that cannot be described. It was as if i lost my second child.

I am pregnant again, and am praying that everything goes normally. Another loss will shatter me.

For each and everyone one who commented here, I am really sorry for your loss, and it's true: never lose heart. You'll get what's written for you. Good luck.

anon112707
Post 80

My wife just had a miscarriage in the seventh week of her first pregnancy after our 18 months of marriage. thank God, she has overcome the pains and agony but she really needs a baby now. it's confirmed that both of us are medically okay to have children. my question is now, when is it safe and advisable for us to start making love?

anon111489
Post 79

I had two abortions when i was a teenager and now i am married. i have had three miscarriages. sometimes i cry and wonder if God is punishing me for what i did. My husband really needs a child. I am 26 years old.

anon111283
Post 78

sorry everyone for your loss.

anon110128
Post 77

I was pregnant and i went to week 22. After 36 hours of labor i gave birth to a beautiful baby boy he lived 1 hour and 10 minutes. It's the hardest thing i have ever gone through.

I was pregnant again and just had a miscarriage and i was only maybe a month along. It's seems so hard to move on from this. But it's not me I'm worried about. My fiance is taking it harder than i am this time.

I hope he realizes that in order to have a baby we have to keep trying. I hope that everyone on here keeps trying! Don't give up! I would do anything to have a baby. Remember it's not your fault, either. It just happens. I wish everyone good luck.

anon105184
Post 76

My brother's wife just miscarried and they can't tell them why. She was eight months along. She only had one month left. it's a sad day, full of heartbreak.

anon104326
Post 75

I'm 28 years old. I got married when i was 23. I conceived just a month after my wedding, and i had a miscarriage when i was nine weeks pregnant. I had all the early pregnancy symptoms like morning sickness and they all went away at once. i was happy because i wasn't hating my food anymore, because i was experienced and had no idea that it had actually happened because i had lost my baby.

About a week later, i felt cramps and one night started heavy bleeding, with lots of black clots. Then i was told by my doctor that i miscarried. I got pregnant again about two months later and when i was 34 weeks along, I lost my baby again. It was an IUD baby. I delivered him normally after 72 hours in labor.

I got pregnant again after a year and delivered a very healthy cute baby girl who is now two years old and just look at my bad luck. I was five weeks pregnant again, and today i found out I had a miscarriage. I can't tell you what I'm feeling right now. i am just dead.

anon102439
Post 74

I'm 24 years old and i have had two miscarriages. It's the worst feeling in the world. My first miscarriage happened in 2006 and i was 12 weeks along. My second miscarriage was this past april and i was six weeks along. I can't even begin to describe the pain i was going through.

Still to this day i cry because of what happened. The doctors couldn't tell me the cause of my miscarriage so i still don't know why it happened. The doctor did say that the next time i get pregnant i should be able to carry full term. My heart goes out to all the woman who have suffered a miscarriage. To tell you the truth, i don't think I'll ever truly get over the pain. What makes it worse for me is that a close friend of mine is pregnant and she became pregnant around the same time i did. So our due dates were within days of each others.

Sometimes it's hard for me to be around her, not because I'm angry but because it constantly reminds me of the fact that i would be pregnant too, if it weren't for my miscarriage!

anon100509
Post 73

Please, I am very sorry for each one of you for what has happened even though have not given birth, too.

anon98296
Post 72

i should have been 10 weeks today. I had a few pains and got booked in for an early scan. I had an external scan and nothing could be seen so I had an internal scan, but i already knew something had happened when the external scan didn't show anything. i feel like I've lost a massive part of me. I don't think i would have even got through today if it weren't for my partner.

anon94614
Post 71

I'm 23 years old and had a miscarriage after carrying the pregnancy for nine weeks. I started to feel stomach cramps and i went to see my doctor. i had an external and internal scan but the doctor told me i had a miscarriage. It was like i felt like the whole world has collapsed, but my husband gave me courage and hope.

Don't lose hope God almighty who gave us the first will do it again as long as we believe.

anon92193
Post 70

I'm 19 and was 7 and a bit weeks pregnant. It was my first and I was so happy about it because i had everything i wanted and i started to get back pain at the base of my back.

The next day I went to the doctor and they said it was normal to bleed, that plenty of women do and sent me to hospital for an emergency scan. The next day I went to the scan and they found the sac but no baby. I had lost it. I was absolutely devastated. Me and my fella have had tests. I'm still in having them. my heart goes out to everyone who has ever had one.

anon90663
Post 68

I experienced my first miscarriage this February. I have a boy and that was supposed to be my second child. I did spot for two weeks. I saw my doc and he thought that maybe it was because I had sex the day before with my hubby. I was 15 weeks gone.

The day I visited my Doc he prescribed some medicines to stop the spotting but to no avail. It all happened suddenly that evening. I got up from the couch when I felt this warm liquid between my legs and I felt a sudden movement, like something was pushing down my stomach. I called my hubby and I told him something was wrong. I then headed straight for the bathroom and my knickers were wet with water but had the smell of blood.

Later, everything started to come out in the form of a clot, huge chunks. The sight of it brought tears to my eyes. In the end I had to call my doctor and the very next day he did a D&C. I was told after the d&c it shouldn't take long for me to get pregnant again. I am working hard at it.

I feel like I need to get a companion for my son and he keeps telling me that he wants sisters and brothers. My heart goes out to all the women who have lost a child, whether spontaneous or voluntarily.I must say: don't lose heart. Keep on trying. Best of luck to us all!

anon90432
Post 67

To those asking for help there is a pill. I'm not quite sure what it's called but it helps you to carry full term. I've had two miscarriages myself so i understand the pain of it all.

I just found out I'm pregnant and due in february of 2011. I'm quite nervous but on the other hand so very excited!

The best advice i can give anyone out there is if you already have kids and you're miscarrying maybe you're only supposed to have those wonderful kids. To those still waiting to have kids, don't give up. Even though i know it's hard, there is adoption out there! God doesn't give us anything we can't handle, even though it feels that way at times.

First thing you all have to ask is can i have a baby and go from there instead of trying and realizing it won't happen. Because knowing first will make your decision a whole lot easier. There are so many factors that go into miscarriages that we cannot explain.

Honestly, i feel there are too many, but then again that's my opinion. We as women are way too hard on ourselves about having a baby. I mean some go their whole lives without having a single child and no one loves them less.

There are other possibilities for having a child, so please don't ever give up. Praying about it helps, talking to friends or loved ones helps with the pain as well. To all of you out there who want a child, i wish nothing but love, support, and prayers that one day your wish will come true. Love always, Mrs. Chatfield

anon88433
Post 66

My name is K and I'm 22. My family adopted me after four failed pregnancies. I really believe adoption is a great alternative, if you can't have a child of your own.

I know how horrible and crushing a miscarriage is (i had one last fall after 12 weeks). My husband and i have talked it over and we've agreed to give it another go and if we are not blessed with a child of our own, we'll adopt.

I hope you all find happiness and get a child even if you have to adopt. All of us adoptees really appreciate having a loving family. Because of my family I've been able to graduate from college and buy a house.

Adoption is the best way to go if you can't have kids. I hope every one of you finds happiness and God bless you all!

anon87656
Post 65

I am 21 and I have had three miscarriages. Two of them were unexplained. I am pretty sure that the third was caused from the father who pushed me down two days in a row. It only happened earlier today. I am devastated. Everyone who knows me knows that all I have ever wanted is to be a mother. I'm very upset.

anon85654
Post 64

sorry to all of you who are going through these hard times. I have never been pregnant but i know how it feels to be in need of a child, yet you can't get it. God is with you and He knows your heart's desires.

anon84318
Post 63

I've had two miscarriages. One was called blighted ovum. That's when the fetus never develops within the uterus. The other was fetal demise. The babe developed, however its heartbeat never did.

I want to get pregnant again, but not sure if I'm prepared for the emotional roller coaster. Did someone ever have this happen to them yet go on to have a successful pregnancy? Please help.

anon84156
Post 62

i am 25 years old and just had a c-section for my healthy newborn. i also have a three year old, and since i had him i have had six miscarriages that i know of that were five weeks or sooner.

i was so excited when my ob/gyn told me five months ago that there would be no chance for a miscarriage this time and that my baby was going to be healthy.

So don't give up, because i almost did. i was devastated when i lost one at 14 weeks but i know that it was my mom watching over me to allow me to have a healthy baby, because she kept asking me when we were going to have another one, but it kept being miscarried and then her funeral was mothers day 2009 and three months later i became pregnant with a healthy baby boy! Thank you, Mom.

anon83642
Post 61

Well, I'm 24 years old married and have three wonderful kids.

I found out I was pregnant and everyone was super excited. I was going to my four month appointment. Everyone was cheerful and crazy excited. We may have been able to see what the sex of our baby was going be. They were checking the heartbeat, but didn't find one at the time. So they said after this test we will go back and do an ultrasound just to make sure all is good in there.

Well all was not good. In fact, the baby wasn't breathing. I'd had a miscarriage and didn't know until just then. So, they sent me to the hospital to confirm and I pretty much knew it was a done deal, but i had that extra hope that maybe the doctor made a mistake! Well, he didn't. My baby was gone.

On the same day we went to do blood work for the next day and I had to have a d&c done. I cried so much, and the doctors asking me questions didn't help. It's way hard to talk to people afterward. I had to talk to a lot of people while registering myself for my d&c the next day and it just seemed like they didn't understand what was happening because if they did they would just not talk to me. I really didn't want to talk.

It's been almost a week since then and i am still far from over it. I don't cry as much and i do have my kids keeping me distracted and that's good for me.

I'm still hurting a little, but not bleeding any. I have a doctor's appointment this week and I'm really not looking forward to that. I don't know what happens then. i really don't want to rewind any of this. I really don't want to go to that appointment. But I guess i have to.

I'd just rather not hear anything else about it. I really wanted to have this baby. My kids were so excited along with my church and my family, I still must face my church and even some family. I'm not sure I'm ready. I had to tell my kids the doctors made a mistake and mommy won't be having a baby. It was so hard.

I want to try again, maybe in a few months, but I'm not sure. Maybe...

anon83382
Post 60

I have found out today that I am about four weeks pregnant. This is my second pregnancy, with the first pregnancy ending with a missed miscarriage that devastated me and my husband.

I was supposed to be 15 weeks and when we went to hear the heartbeat on the Doppler and they could not find it, they ordered a ultrasound for the next day.

I went to the ultrasound alone as my husband could not make it. They did the ultrasound

then sent me home to wait. I get a call and the LPN asked if I was sitting down. I said yes and she proceeds to tell me I lost the

baby, that it died at 10 weeks, so I carried a dead child for five weeks.

I went through a mini labour and delivered the child and placenta at home. They did testing on the fetus and discovered the reason for the death. Two sperm fertilized one egg; it is called a partial molar pregnancy.

But the scary thing is my child lived for ten weeks then had to lose its life because of too much DNA.

I found out I miscarried on my 22nd birthday, and now that I am pregnant again I am scared

something will go wrong again. I pray to God it won't. But to all you ladies out there who have been through a miscarriage, I know what you are feeling and please trust me when I say just keep trying it will happen for you. Hopefully,

in nine months I will hold my child in my arms.

anon83086
Post 59

My name is louise and i am now 42 years old. I have been trying for a baby for 10 years and have had seven recurrent miscarriages, all through IVF treatment funded by myself and my husband.

I did conceive again in march using donor embryo because the specialists thought that part of the problem was my eggs.

I was told to take clexane and aspirin when I had a positive preg test so I followed instructions. I have just found out on my scan at 10 weeks my baby has no heartbeat and has died in the womb.

I am absolutely distraught about this news and have to go for d and c tomorrow. this was my very last chance to have a baby and now I have to try to come to terms of never becoming a mum. I don't know how to start to come to terms with this news. Please help.

bad146996
Post 58

well now i'm 18 weeks and thanks everyone for not judging and being supportive. i'm showing and i figured not to tell my parents yet.

anon79938
Post 57

My mom just found out today that she had a miscarriage and she was nine weeks along. she just woke up this morning and she went to the bathroom and all she saw was blood.

This was her second miscarriage. I'm 15. She had one miscarriage right after me then she had my brother. He died at two years old. Then she had this miscarriage.

My mom is a dwarf so it's hard for her to have babies but i don't understand how i came out all healthy and tall but my brother and my other siblings that i never met had to go.

i have no idea what god is doing for me and my mom, but i know it's for the better. i mean, everything happens for a reason. i just wish i knew that reason. But i know i'll see them again. i've just got to keep my faith just like everyone else should do. and be there for my mom. i can't imagine the pain she's going through.

anon79443
Post 56

Well I have three kids, my youngest is 9. Last year in May I lost a child at 13 weeks. I spotted every day for over two months, the doctor continued to check my HCG levels to see if they were going up and they were.

Unfortunately I will never forget the day was on Mother's day of 09, and I woke up to really heavy bleeding. I went to the hospital and they did an ultrasound to advise me that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. I had a D&C.

Well almost a year later I'm happy to say that I'm pregnant again and expecting in December, however once again the doctor is concerned about my HCG level. I must admit I'm a little nervous but I'm going to leave it in good hands.

anon77806
Post 55

I was thirteen weeks pregnant when one morning i got up and realized i was spotting.

After being put on bed rest, the bleeding did not go away. In fact, it increased, and about two weeks ago i lost the baby.

I should probably be comforted by the fact that i already have two wonderful kids but this is not the case. most of the time i feel depressed. the pain just doesn't seem to go away. i often wonder if my baby is wrapped in the comforting arms of Jesus or if i will ever see him or her on judgment day.

every single day i cry and think about what could have been. i have tried talking to my husband about having another child because my arms feel so empty and there is such sorrow in my heart. maybe I'm wrong and it's just the grief, but i also believe that another baby would ease the pain and help me bring closure. He, however, is firmly against it and cites financial difficulties and the attainment of future goals as his reasons. He also points out that we already have loving, healthy kids whom we should focus our attention on and be quite thankful for. Am i being selfish for wanting to have another baby? Will these haunting feelings ever go away and will i find peace someday if i don't have another child?

anon75118
Post 54

I have never been pregnant as i am only 18 and i cant begin to understand the pain you go through. My heart goes out to all you women out there unable to have children. I will pray for each and every one of you. The only thing i can say is that God has control of everything that happens and that we must trust him. I know he will do things in his time. My thoughts are with all of you. Never give up. You will have a precious bundle to hold in your arms. Just believe even if it is a painful process.

bad146996
Post 53

ok i am 14 and am pregnant for the first time. i don't want to tell the dad because he is older than me and my parents would kill me if they knew it was his. i am worried i may have a miscarriage. does anyone have any suggestions?

anon74054
Post 52

I just found out I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. the baby was only showing to be six weeks so I have been carrying a dead baby for five weeks. I am having a d&c and I have to say it hurts like hell.

Claudia

anon71637
Post 51

i have had three miscarriages in the last 28 months. All three times the baby had not developed past five weeks, but it wasn't until i had my scans at 10 weeks that we knew.

my gp says that they are called missed miscarriages, where the body doesn't realise that the baby has died and carries on thinking it's pregnant.

i am currently waiting to have a d&c. they couldn't fit me in for four days. i feel like my heart has been ripped out and now i have to go and have investigations done to find out why it keeps happening.

anon70941
Post 50

I have never had a miscarriage but my mom has when I was about eight she found out she was pregnant with twins! But they got stuck in her fallopian tube and they both sadly died. They had to remove her fallopian tube and they said she would never have any more kids, but sure enough she had my sister a year later.

I guess what I'm trying to say is keep faith. Don't give up! If it's meant to be it will happen! Just keep trying and keep your eye on the prize!

anon68463
Post 49

I am 33 years old and l just had another miscarriage. what can i do because this is my third miscarriage?

Texanne36
Post 48

I just wanted to say that I just had a miscarriage in early February. I have three children before this, 19, 18 and 15. My older two are grown. My husband doesn't have any children. So you could imagine how happy he was when we found out we were pregnant! but then a week later, that joy was taken from us.

I am trying to be accepting of this, and I have to trust that God knows things when we do not! We can wonder and wonder what caused the miscarriage, and never really know for sure! but we have to have faith that God knows what he is doing. We have to trust that fact!

And to those of you who are talking of murdering your baby! That is wrong! You need to take responsibility for your part in this child! There is no excuse that is good enough to kill a baby!

there are a lot of people who would give the child a home and love the child like their own! We all have to remember, no matter what anyone says, we will answer to God, no matter what! God doesn't want you to murder your child! Period!

And to all the women who have lost a child such as I did, God knows the heartache, and I say keep trying and let God be God. I am trying to do this through all this heartache. He knows best, but don't be afraid to try again! I have three healthy children and then 15 years later a miscarriage! so it doesn't happen to just certain people, it can happen to anyone! God bless!

anon65732
Post 47

There's a woman i know who was 27 in october and claims she has had 17 miscarriages in her life. She has two sons. is it possible to have so many and would the doctors not advise you to stop trying after so many? she has apparently just had her 18th miscarriage last week and is broadcasting it all over facebook.

Also she went to the gym quite a lot, which i think is ok if you take it easy but if you really did lose 17 babies, wouldn't you be extra, extra careful?

she said she found out on friday that the heart was beating and then she was writing with a friend saying how she didn't get home till 2.30 a.m. saturday morning and she was playing guitar hero all night.

i think if she is lying it is disgusting because people have miscarriages every day. I had one too, and the last thing i would have done would be broadcasting it all over facebook or anywhere else for that matter. I think it's a very personal experience and i wouldn't want everyone to know, apart from close family and maybe your best friend, or complete strangers that have gone through the same in a support group.

But i was just wondering if it is possible to have 18 now miscarriages within 10 years? i don't really want to know her anymore or have anything to do with her if i find out she was making it up.

anon64629
Post 46

Sadly, last february I suffered a miscarriage. I was nine and a half weeks pregnant. I have a beautiful daughter aged six. Although I have been blessed with a beautiful child, experiencing a miscarriage was one of the toughest things I have ever been through.

I am now seven weeks pregnant and extremely worried I may miscarry again. I don't think any woman is really at peace during their pregnancy until they are holding their child safely in their arms.

My heart truly goes out to you who have suffered a miscarriage, especially repeated miscarriages.

I would like to take this opportunity to finally add, those of you who are stating they are too young to be pregnant and want rid of their babies, should be ashamed of yourselves. I am sorry to sound harsh but I had my first child at eighteen under very difficult circumstances. Although at times I found things very difficult my daughter has made me the person I am today. Children are little miracles, they are gifts and they should be treasured and 'protected' at all costs.

anon61050
Post 45

in 2008 december i started spotting early in the morning and later that evening I had very severe pains in my stomach for hours and then i took pain killers for the pains.

after a while i started cramping for the whole night and the following day i started bleeding heavily like never before. i am not sure if i had a miscarriage because i never went to a doctor as i thought it was period pains.

a month later i went to the doctor for severe period pains and he said i had lost a lot of blood and also had an infection in my tubes. my boyfriend and i have been trying to have a baby for two years now. i went for HSG and found out i had blocked tubes. did i suffer a miscarriage?

anon60522
Post 44

To the person who wants to "naturally" cause a miscarriage- that is called an abortion, known by many as murder-- to take an innocent life because you're not ready for the responsibilities that come with sex. A miscarriage is something a mother does not want to happen. Look at all these women yearning for a successful pregnancy!

You should really reevaluate your moral values and not be having sex at 16 if you're not ready to handle the responsibilities that come afterward. Sorry to get on my soapbox, people, it is just too frustrating when people view a blessing as a curse. Good luck and great strength to all of you trying to have children!

anon59121
Post 43

i'm 20 and the week of christmas i found out i was pregnant. my first doctor's appointment was jan. 4 and i found out i'm three months pregnant. who i'm pregnant by of course don't want me to have the baby because he said he doesn't want to have to go through life knowing that his child was a mistake.

he offered to pay for an abortion but i can't live my life knowing that i killed somebody who did not ask to be here. he doesn't care he just doesn't want to have a baby right now. i know we are both young but we weren't thinking about that when were having sex.

now he's hoping for a miscarriage and i feel so bad because I'm kind of hoping for one too, just so i won't have to deal with him nagging in my ear everyday about trying to get rid of it.

i try not to cry but it's hard knowing that I'm thinking about it just as much as he is. if i try to kill this baby i know i might kill myself too, because once you kill a baby, you might as well not live either.

anon57269
Post 42

I am 21 years old and today was supposed to be a very special day for myself and boyfriend. We had a doctor's appointment to hear the baby's heartbeat.

I would be 12 and a half weeks along, when she tried finding the heartbeat with the doppler, but there was nothing. So she went to the ultrasound. She was quiet a moment then said that she found the baby but didn't have good news. There wasn't a heartbeat. My midwife then proceeded to get the doctor.

i did a second ultrasound and the moment she showed me the baby i cried. i had had an ultrasound at seven weeks and when i saw the little pulsating of the heartbeat i was filled with joy, but seeing your baby on the screen with no life to it breaks your heart. my baby measured at eight weeks. I had lost it two weeks ago. They were not sure what may have happened. They mentioned it could be from a chromosomal defect.

Now I'm waiting to go and have a D & C done. i feel so empty inside, and scared for any future pregnancies.

anon55356
Post 41

i had a miscarriage when i was about four weeks along in june. i got pregnant by a bloke i love so much but he has four kids and two of them are with the partner he is with now.

when i told him he didn't seem yo be bothered and i was so upset about it. i was so anxious just to take my own life. i moved on from it after a while, even though it was still in the back of my mind and found out he had got another girl pregnant.

She is about six months gone now and i have just found out i am pregnant again with his child and i am nearly eight weeks, but i am so scared of losing this child it is unbearable. He is being supportive about it even though it was wrong to be having sex with him when he has a partner already but i think to myself and it seems to me that he wishes that i would have a miscarriage because i don't think he will be too bothered about it as this will be his sixth child.

But i will be distraught as this is my first and i can't take the pain of losing another child.

dangazz
Post 40

I am 20 years old and married - my husband and i had a miscarriage in march 2008 (blighted ovum). i was 14 weeks when i went into a mini labour and had to birth out the placenta.

we decided to try for a baby the second time as the first was unplanned and i unfortunately miscarried that one in september, when I was five weeks and six days.

i did not want to go through another miscarriage again, ever, as the first one was too devastating! Unfortunately i have and it's left me feeling numb and envious towards other women who have babies. i think what makes it harder is that a lot of my friends and family members have been having babies, and are pregnant, so i am surrounded by it every day. it's right in my face and I'm so upset! i am too scared of getting pregnant again, even though i want a baby more than anything, because i do not want to give myself the chance of it happening a third time!

so i need your suggestions on what you think is right for me, as i cannot talk to anyone else i know. nobody understands because this has not happened to them before. thanks

anon50851
Post 37

i'm almost 12 weeks pregnant. i feel terrible, and hoping to have a miscarriage but i feel that i am a terrible person and that my baby could feel that i don't want it anymore. i think i am too young and not prepare yet. :(

anon50089
Post 36

Hi I'm about nine weeks pregnant and I do not want a baby. I have four children and my husband has two from a previous relationship. I'm 40 years old and I have no desire to have another baby. My problem is that my husband really wants to have another baby. I can't even say the word abortion around him. I am extremely depressed and he doesn't even notice. I find myself hoping that I will miscarry. I'm a terrible person!

anon48016
Post 35

hello im sorry for all of your losses, but i would like to ask for some advice. this is my situation. the doctor said that according to my last period i was about 9 weeks, so at that time i had my first ultrasound and the baby didn't have a heart beat and that it stopped growing at 7 weeks. The doctor has recommended I wait and let it miscarry on its own but that was two weeks ago and still no sign, and according to the doctor the baby has been without a life inside me for a month. i just don't know what to do should i get a d&c or should i just wait naturally? i just don't want to get an infection or anything. is it ok to wait? i would rather have it done naturally but the only thing that has me worried is i don't want an infection. please, does anybody have any advice? this was my first baby and I was very devastated about it. thank you.

dopey322
Post 34

I went to the doctor to get a depo provera shot, but i did not take a pregnancy test. He just gave me a shot. After a month and a half, i started bleeding for 30 days with cramping and sometimes blood clots. I went to see the doctor and he thinks i might have had a miscarriage. He said my uterus is bigger than normal. I took a pregnancy test and it was negative, but i never saw a baby. He gave me antibiotics. Should i get a second opinion, or what should i do?

anon47371
Post 32

i am 6 weeks pregnant with my first child and desperately terrified of losing it to a misscarriage, so as soon as i found out i went to the doctor and asked them what i could do to maximize my chances of keeping the baby healthy. one of the main points they stressed on to me was take prenatal vitamins -- before conception, during the pregnancy, and after you deliver. another theing they suggested was resting a lot, and keeping yourslef as calm as possible, as stress can be bad for the baby, and to eat colorful meals (lean meat; no fish!, dairy, but no soft cheese like feta and bleu, veggies, fruits and whole grains). other than that it is all up to God and your body.

anon43730
Post 31

I had a miscarriage in february at age 20. My baby would have been due in three weeks. I was nine weeks in gestation, the father was a friend i slept with at christmas. He doesn't seem to have been affected, he has three other children. I've always wanted children, and although the pregnancy was unplanned, it hit me so hard, i lost my job. And every time i see a baby, i have to fight back the tears. I've felt suicidal for months. I need help.

Moderator's reply: Please consult a mental health professional to help you cope with your loss. Please also accept the condolences of the wiseGEEK team.

anon43413
Post 30

When I was 18, I had an abortion. Then six months later, I found out I was pregnant again. I had my daughter. After having her I had two more abortions (which i really regret). Now (two years later) I am trying to have a baby. I had a miscarriage eight months ago and now i am pregnant again, and I am spotting. i think i am going to have another miscarriage. When I had the abortions it said i would have no problems having children in the future. i wish i would have *never* had them! I think my body is fighting the baby as a "learned reaction". What can i do?

juliaann
Post 29

i have gone through five miscarriages. In two of them i got as far as five months (20 weeks). i have had all types of tests done on me and the doctor can't find any reason why i am having them. i have done everything i could do to be heathy and in shape. My husband and I have been trying for four years and no luck yet. people tell us we have time but i don't feel like i do, and after going through so many it puts a strain on my body. my doctor always sends me home and tells me it's best for my body to do it on its own. so everytime i suffer at home with nothing. i've lost my job over it because i get so sick every time. i really don't know what to do any more.

anon42764
Post 28

For those of you who are suffering from "unexplained recurrent miscarriages", please look into prednisone (if in the USA) or prednisolone (overseas) as treatment. Prednisone is used to suppress your immune system so that it will not attack your pregnancies as a "foreign invader". I had 5 "unexplained" miscarriages that all occurred at around 5 weeks 6 days gestation. With this pregnancy, I took 20mg of prednisone from the first day of a positive pregnancy test until 10 weeks gestation. Then I took 10mg up until week 11, and then 5mg up until week 12. You stop the prednisone at 12 weeks. I am now 6 months pregnant. I based this protocol on Dr. Quenby's study from England. Type in "prednisolone" and "miscarriages" on the internet. Find her study on the internet, print it out, and bring it to your doctor. I hope this helps someone. Best of luck!

anon42513
Post 27

i have had two miscarriages in five months and am only 18. is there a reason? can anyone help?

anon41852
Post 26

hi my name is tim. my girlfriend got pregnant at 16 the first time and had lost it. She got mad at me. i feel like crap about it. he (i was hoping for a boy) was going to be the pride and joy of our lives but i ruined that. but she is pregnant again but instead of gaining weight, she is losing it. I don't know what to do if she had another miscarriage or its part of being pregnant.

anon39407
Post 24

I am nine weeks pregnant and have been spotting for three days and now I am actaully bleeding and I don't know what to do I think it might be miscarriage. this would be my third child.

anon39376
Post 23

i was woken up this morning with bad stomach cramps. I had the contraceptive implant inserted last week and although the nurse gave me a pregnancy test beforehand, i'm concerned that i may have been very newly pregnant because i think i miscarried this morning. it was my first period in roughly 5 weeks and there weas a thick tissue like blob in my knickers' I'm wondering whether the implant may have caused me to miscarry. anyone know anything? I'm really worried!

anon36834
Post 22

My wife had 5 miscarriages. she's 34 years old. the doctor says that it may be a genetic problem. we dont know if there are any chances to have a child with this problem.

did anyone has solved a genetic problem? if anyone knows anything please tells us.

anon36651
Post 21

i just had a miscarriage today. i thought i was pregnant and having morning sickness for a few days so i took a preg test and it was *negative* then the next day i got my period... well it wasnt my period... i pulled my tampon out and there was a huge "clot" stuck to it. it was weird so i looked at it... and it was a baby. about 4 inches long, eyes, spinal cord... i cant stop crying i dont know what to do.

anon34112
Post 20

I was just wondering if there's any way you can cause a miscarriage on purpose? My cousin is 16 and believes she is pregnant, but does not have the money for an abortion and instead of having the baby and giving it up for adoption, she is trying to get rid of it semi-naturally before it develops too much. Does anyone have information on this?

anon29785
Post 19

I had to have a hysterectomy when I was 23. I had severe endometriosis. I had a total of 3 miscarragies. No children and every night I have nightmares about the fact I can never be a mother.

anon27840
Post 18

I'm 22 years old and have had 4 miscarriages. My husband and I had 3 miscarriages between 15 and 17 weeks. The time we were pregnant we were so excited we thought everything was going great. My obgyn had put me on blood thinners. At 22 weeks i had a quad screen done and was sent to the University of Alabama at Birmingham hospital we had our little girl had passed away. Her skull didn't form correctly.

My heart does out to each and every one of you. I know the feeling of losing children. It's by far the worst experience of my life.

anon26005
Post 17

Hi to everyone. I just want to say my heart goes out to each and every one of you.

I can't say i know how you all are feeling, but i can say that u are not to blame. Just keep hope and faith and u will get that wonderful blessing that u all have been hoping and waiting for. I am 28 weeks pregnant and all through my mind is the thought of miscarrying. That's why i pray for my little one every day. Because of that, i know he will be safe. I have the lord and He has been protecting him all along.

I just cant wait till all of this is over. Just be patient & your time will come. Trust me. Just have faith and pray for your blessing and it will come to you right before your eyes.

anon24249
Post 16

I'm 16, i had a miscarriage 3 months ago. After i went to the hospital and my obgyn and told them i had been bleeding heavily they ran tests told me everything was going to be fine. That night had excruciating pains. I woke up 12:19 a.m. to find my pants were soaked and not with blood. The amniotic fluid that surrounds the baby, i went to the bathroom and blood just came pouring out and i was clotting at the same time, and then i seen the baby hanging. I grabbed toilet paper took it and placed it on the rug. It was the worst thing i ever encountered my baby lying before me, dead. Helpless, and to know i couldn't do anything for it. It was about 3 or 4 inches, tiny head, arms, and legs. I was so depressed it hurt so bad to know it was gone. I felt empty and til this day i miss it more than ever, even though the morning sickness and all the symptoms sucked. I would do it all over just to have it back.

kuuipolee
Post 15

Hi. My name is Kuuipo and I just had my first miscarriage. A little over a year ago I had an abortion since a family member told me it would be the smartest thing to do. and it really affected me still to this day. the father and i were not together since it was an abusive relationship. then i started dating another person and i became pregnant again. i told him when i found out i was pregnant and he was overjoyed even though we are both 19. but about 2 weeks later he left me because he said that 'he needed to live his life' and said that if i wanted to stay with him then i would have to get an abortion. since the first time it hurt too much and i was still affected by it i told him no and we parted ways. then within the last month i have been having cramps on and off and since i live with my parents again but they did not know i was pregnant i did not tell them. then about 3 days ago i started spotting then having it get heavier and heavier. then the day before yesterday i was in the bathroom and all of a sudden i started bleeding tremendously. to the point of where i was actually about to tell my parents. and i was in the bathroom for about an hour and the blood would not stop. and i was having extreme pain and clotting and then what i thought was a clot came out but it was lighter then the rest and i know this is odd but i picked it up from the toilet and could see two rows of teeth in what was to be the head of the fetus. and today i was still having pain but it just now hit me i did lose the baby i was planning on keeping. and now i just feel so lonely inside. and feel that i brought this on myself.

anon19670
Post 14

I am 41 years old.I have had three miscarriages within the last one year and the causes of them all are blighted ovum. What is the cause of Blighted ovum? Is it possible to have a full term pregnancy and have a normal child delivered after series of miscarriages? What can one do to reduce or avoid miscarriage?

Moderator's reply: Sorry to hear about your struggle to get pregnant. Our article, "What is a Blighted Ovum?", may offer some help. Best of luck!

anon15588
Post 13

I had one miscarriage, in April of this year this was my first miscarriage/child. I am 38 years old. My doctor told me that the cause of this is because I have a short cervix which caused me to lose the baby. I am now pregnant again and they are going to do a cerclage where they stitch the cervix to hold the baby in for up to 37 weeks. I don't know if you want to check with your doctor for the possibility of what I have. JG.

ndjennifer
Post 12

i have just suffered my 2nd miscarriage. i feel like its the end of the world for me because am a baby lover and my husband too. we are going through so much sadness at the house. should we go get some tests done or try one more time. am 26 yrs old. please advice

jen

Moderator's reply: don't hesitate to talk with your doctor about your concerns! some doctors are more aggressive than others when dealing with fertility issues, so find a doctor who is willing to give you a complete fertility work up. good luck!

anon10394
Post 10

I also am having back pains. I had a miscarriage when I was 16. My boyfriend left me when I found out and went to another girl. Then I found out it wasn't a girl, it was a boy.

Sincerely,

LeAnn

anon9794
Post 9

Summerishere

I'm 5 weeks pregnant for the first time, and miscarriage weighs heavily at the back of my mind. I'm 37 years old.

With some encouraging advise from my good friend, I've been reading and eating nutrient rich diets for pregnancy and healthy baby. I'm following a lot of the advise in there to build my body to be a healthy incubator for the embryo. I hope this helps.

anon9001
Post 8

i just had my miscarriage 2 weeks ago. it was at night, i felt nothing i just fainted to a 1.5 metre point to the ground. the doctors don't know how that happened as i never experienced any pains or dizziness before my incident. i can't get over the pain as my boyfriend thinks that i had made an abortion. i can't blame him though, as i have discussed with him that i'll do an abortion prior to my incident. can you please help i can't find a way to get over the pain of losing my first born baby, and also the fact that my long time boyfriend is unable to believe nor support me on the pain i'm feeling. my boyfriend is 31 years old and had never had a child until now. he was looking forward to having this baby.

anon6021
Post 7

Hi nat, i read your post and i am feeling your pain, i have been trying for sixteen years to have a baby. i am now 40 and my last miscarriage was two weeks ago, i have gotten pregnant five times in sixteen years, my husband is very supportive but i feel so much of a failure when ever i look at my husband, it hurts. Sometimes i wish i was not born, all our friends and family are parents now, this is even more painful for us. My doctor is telling us do not give up keep trying. Well i will until god says that's all the time i have got.

Sharon trinidad west indies

Natalie14
Post 6

Hi there lollya

just to let you know when i read your article it sounded like you were talking about me. as i have just had my twelfth miscarriage and nobody knows what's happening. they have all been before 12 weeks and all been in the last 9 years. i am only 26 so that's all i hear from people..... you have plenty of time left. but as you say all i want is to hold a baby in my arms please if you do get any more information or advice please let me know and i must say all the luck in the world with this pregnancy. Nat x

anon1376
Post 5

thankyou for that advice. ive had a d&c for almost all of them bar two so that would make sense. i was advised that they would not affect future pregnancies but im starting to think i need a second opinion. im so scared at the moment as my partner is starting to feel that we shud stop trying all together as he cant bear to see me go thru another miscarriage but the thought of stopping is too much. i feel an ache that wont go until i finally hold a baby in my arms.

anon1307
Post 3

Have you had a lot of D&C's? D&C's are responsible for creating scar tissue in the uterus and that scar tissue increases infertility and rates of miscarriage, significantly. The more D&C's you've had the more likely it is that you have scar tissue in your uterus. You should find a doctor who is experienced and qualified with diagnosing this, as many women are going undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. Also, they can help you find a qualified doc to remove this scar tissue (if you have it) and the rates for a healthy birth outcome, after having this condition corrected, is about the same as someone who never had the condition. Hope this helps and I'm so sorry about your loss. - SRA

lollya2000
Post 1

i have suffered form 12 miscarriages before 12 weeks in the last 6 years. the doctor cannot find any major reason why but i cant beleive that its just bad luck. i do try and do everything possible to prevent this but it does not seem to be any good and i lose them. can anyone offer sum suggestions as i am desperate to have a baby and am currently pregnant but dont think i could deal with another miscarriage

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